Jenelope Flapperjack finds a new sport: condom-head tug-of-war

Japan, ah, Japan....The only place in the world where our cousin, and special correspondent, Jenelope Flapperjack found a physical activity suited for her needs and interests.  Basically, you tie two condoms to one another and wear them around your heads...then you puuuuuuuuuuuuull as hard as you can.  This gives a whole new idea to the concept of pulling out before you come.

Jen, we support you if you ever make it to the finals.

Cookie Flapperjack interviews a super butch ex-gay porn star with a lisp

As we all know, Cookie Flapperjack's main purpose in life is to search (and sometimes destroy) the hypocrisy she sees around her.  For this post, she counted on her friends at The Sword and they brought her to this ultra macho, hyper-hetero, reborn-in-jesus Ascot-wearing ex-gay porn star.  Cookie was left speechless, especially when said super-butch started acting out the cage in which he was stuck in (check it out...2:59).  homosexuality is a sin, he says, but the real sin is his wardrobe, dear.

Jenelope Flapperjack has a slight DOG problem in Japan

Yes, Aunt Charisse, Jenelope has called.  Actually, she's been calling quite frequently, and once in a blue moon she files a report on what she's encountering in her explorations of nipponic fields.  No, I know she's hasn't called you, but you see, it's quite expensive, and you're only an aunt (sorry for the cruelty).  Apparently, she had a weird encounter with a dog the other day.  First of all, there was this child who seemed to be one of the Sims because everyone could see his thoughts in a floating bubble.  This really weird, botox-laden excuse for a dog started jumping up and down trying to cheer the boy up.  (Funny, here dogs hump your legs, but there things are different I believe).  The dog then proceeded to changing his head (!), dancing sexily and playing party tricks.  The boy, however, was in search of pussy because the slightest sight of a girlie made the Sims infant go all happy.  Alas, the dog had some crisps and tried to chat Jenelope up, which made her run in fear.  After all, she gave in to the Collie "because nothing better than a creepy dog to cheer you up"

Sex Education for Mentally Challenged People (no, not you, ... them, the Americans)

So, our cousin Reborn Flapperjack was doing what he does best...exploring abandoned traditions all over the world. As he stepped into an oddly-shaped library, he tripped over a mold-incrusted reel of celluloid.  In it, a film.  Even better....a sex-ed film.  Enticed by the prospect of some stag evening with beers, pretzels and hot naked ladies, he brought us the film.  We got our super-8 and sat in one of our living rooms: Reborn, Casper, Jenelope, and Trixie -- all expecting some good dirty fun.

Much to our chagrin, what we saw was one of the most disturbing pieces of Americana: sexual education for mentally challenged children...episode 62: The Three Holes.  Trixie went comatose right in the first minute.  Jenelope is still shaking after all this time.  As for Reborn, he is still in church atoning for the sin of having brought this to light.  Flapperjack friends, please be warned...whatever you learn here, is WRONG.  DO....NOT....TAKE....THIS...TO ... HEART.

Mary Inex Flapperjack sent us a pack of Bizarre.

Our dear cousin twice removed, Mary Inex, from Ciudad de las Missiones, Phillipines, sent us this pack of bizarre.  We laughed, imagining it as pure drivel, but -- alas -- we had to give in.  This is the oddest weirdest most disturbing girl band ever : The Ross Sisters !  You'll never be the same again after seeing this.  It starts out all very nicely, with clear Andrews Sisters influences, but then...... you'll just have to check it for yourself; but be prepared for some disturbingly erotic(?) imagery ===== btw, we still think middle-sister is a man (she carries a mean sock collection in that pair of shorts)