Jenelope Flapperjack witnesses the birth of a new japanese craze

 Directly from Jenelope Flapperjack herself:

Let's start off by saying, yes, you should call an ambulance if your stomach hurts a lot. And also, yes, do scream and moan when you don't know how what to call the place where it hurts. But most importantly, remember to always, always know by heart the coreography that japan so cleverly came up with to show how bad your case of diarrhea is. You never know when it may come in handy.

Someone should let auntie Amber-Louise Jean Flapperjack know that if Jenelope keeps on finding these delicious little gems of Japan, she might never come back from her amazing trip.

The flapperjacks dj set preview by Casper Flapperjack

The flapperjacks dj set preview by Casper Flapperjack

Jenelope Flapperjack finds a new sport: condom-head tug-of-war

Japan, ah, Japan....The only place in the world where our cousin, and special correspondent, Jenelope Flapperjack found a physical activity suited for her needs and interests.  Basically, you tie two condoms to one another and wear them around your heads...then you puuuuuuuuuuuuull as hard as you can.  This gives a whole new idea to the concept of pulling out before you come.

Jen, we support you if you ever make it to the finals.

Cookie Flapperjack interviews a super butch ex-gay porn star with a lisp

As we all know, Cookie Flapperjack's main purpose in life is to search (and sometimes destroy) the hypocrisy she sees around her.  For this post, she counted on her friends at The Sword and they brought her to this ultra macho, hyper-hetero, reborn-in-jesus Ascot-wearing ex-gay porn star.  Cookie was left speechless, especially when said super-butch started acting out the cage in which he was stuck in (check it out...2:59).  homosexuality is a sin, he says, but the real sin is his wardrobe, dear.

Jenelope Flapperjack has a slight DOG problem in Japan

Yes, Aunt Charisse, Jenelope has called.  Actually, she's been calling quite frequently, and once in a blue moon she files a report on what she's encountering in her explorations of nipponic fields.  No, I know she's hasn't called you, but you see, it's quite expensive, and you're only an aunt (sorry for the cruelty).  Apparently, she had a weird encounter with a dog the other day.  First of all, there was this child who seemed to be one of the Sims because everyone could see his thoughts in a floating bubble.  This really weird, botox-laden excuse for a dog started jumping up and down trying to cheer the boy up.  (Funny, here dogs hump your legs, but there things are different I believe).  The dog then proceeded to changing his head (!), dancing sexily and playing party tricks.  The boy, however, was in search of pussy because the slightest sight of a girlie made the Sims infant go all happy.  Alas, the dog had some crisps and tried to chat Jenelope up, which made her run in fear.  After all, she gave in to the Collie "because nothing better than a creepy dog to cheer you up"

Sex Education for Mentally Challenged People (no, not you, ... them, the Americans)

So, our cousin Reborn Flapperjack was doing what he does best...exploring abandoned traditions all over the world. As he stepped into an oddly-shaped library, he tripped over a mold-incrusted reel of celluloid.  In it, a film.  Even better....a sex-ed film.  Enticed by the prospect of some stag evening with beers, pretzels and hot naked ladies, he brought us the film.  We got our super-8 and sat in one of our living rooms: Reborn, Casper, Jenelope, and Trixie -- all expecting some good dirty fun.

Much to our chagrin, what we saw was one of the most disturbing pieces of Americana: sexual education for mentally challenged children...episode 62: The Three Holes.  Trixie went comatose right in the first minute.  Jenelope is still shaking after all this time.  As for Reborn, he is still in church atoning for the sin of having brought this to light.  Flapperjack friends, please be warned...whatever you learn here, is WRONG.  DO....NOT....TAKE....THIS...TO ... HEART.

The Flapperjacks feel so sorry for Niki Sedaghat that they've decided to adopt her.

Dear Niki Sedaghat Flapperjack:

We have already completed the bureaucracy necessary to adopt you officially.  You will now belong to the N-45 branch of the family with newcomers Norma, Elsenworth, and Mukyra.  We would like to reassure you that you will not be given back to those people who lied to you saying that you had an angelic voice and a face to match (the flapperjacks still wonder about that one...match what? the drapes in the living room? the ghastly t-shirt your drunkard father was wearing? your mother's earrings?).  We promise you we will never expose you to the ridicule of wearing a Jingle Bells cap or make you 'sing' a song from a long-dead musical.  We will love you for what you are instead of exposing you to hundreds of thousands of cruel media addicts or youtubers.  We promise we will feed you and love you and let you play with ponies.  You are now protected from all the horrors of your parents' frustrated childhoods.  We will come for your sisters  and brothers later.  Welcome to the family, Niki.

Learn, ladies, learn --- penis power and vagina power

A lot of women are hooked on clitoral stimulation....
If you want to earn your man, you have to learn your man...
They know how to soothe the vagina...
They don't give their penis to everybody...
When a man is in a predator mode... a woman that's lonely, that her vagina is cold...
Some women can have more than one Gspot...
Jackrabbit?


And then you open your eyes and you see the harridans that are speaking --> you never again have sex.

Mary Inex Flapperjack sent us a pack of Bizarre.

Our dear cousin twice removed, Mary Inex, from Ciudad de las Missiones, Phillipines, sent us this pack of bizarre.  We laughed, imagining it as pure drivel, but -- alas -- we had to give in.  This is the oddest weirdest most disturbing girl band ever : The Ross Sisters !  You'll never be the same again after seeing this.  It starts out all very nicely, with clear Andrews Sisters influences, but then...... you'll just have to check it for yourself; but be prepared for some disturbingly erotic(?) imagery ===== btw, we still think middle-sister is a man (she carries a mean sock collection in that pair of shorts)

The path to knowledge is full of distractors.

We shall now understand reality.  All of reality; everything that is, and everything that virtually is, and then, is not.  However, there will be distractors along the way...elements of bizarre curiosity, and weird appearance, which will seduce us into a path.  Cases in point >>>> the blueness of the digital professor, diane's being a weirdly funny piece of shining liquid robot, the new-agey music which makes yanni sound like def leppard, and an almost lisping narrator.


But, if you strive, you will learn about EVERYTHING....It is beautiful.

Jenelope denounces reality !

n an attempt to dig at reality's ever-growing capacity of dumbening people to the point of lunatic idiocy, Jenelope Flapperjack finds a few slices of space-time which denounce such strategy from the 'owners of all'.  The following images are part of the affidavit which will be presented to the highest court of the Time Variance Authority soon.  Here is a piece of evidence to support the Flapperjack's claim:

Here are a few more examples of how reality has dumbed humans down to the point of idiotic lunacy:

The Story of Srebrenica (or, the most effective punishment ever invented for naughty kids)

Casper says:  " There is so much wrong here, I don't even know where to start.  Maybe I should point out how coarse and poorly done the animation is, but that'd be obvious.  Or I could slash the narrative to shreds, but then again another obvious piece of comment would be produced.  Perhaps I could thrash the sheer weirdness of it all but it would all be to no avail.  I think I'd better tear my eyes out and cry the blood out of me."

Jenelope says: " It's so dull, i felt like killing myself while watching it."