Sex Education for Mentally Challenged People (no, not you, ... them, the Americans)

So, our cousin Reborn Flapperjack was doing what he does best...exploring abandoned traditions all over the world. As he stepped into an oddly-shaped library, he tripped over a mold-incrusted reel of celluloid.  In it, a film.  Even better....a sex-ed film.  Enticed by the prospect of some stag evening with beers, pretzels and hot naked ladies, he brought us the film.  We got our super-8 and sat in one of our living rooms: Reborn, Casper, Jenelope, and Trixie -- all expecting some good dirty fun.

Much to our chagrin, what we saw was one of the most disturbing pieces of Americana: sexual education for mentally challenged children...episode 62: The Three Holes.  Trixie went comatose right in the first minute.  Jenelope is still shaking after all this time.  As for Reborn, he is still in church atoning for the sin of having brought this to light.  Flapperjack friends, please be warned...whatever you learn here, is WRONG.  DO....NOT....TAKE....THIS...TO ... HEART.